Toxic People and How to Handle Them

Lets face it, we all experience turbulence in our lives from time to time. Some days maybe more than others, but for those of us who are on the path to higher awareness, we know that we are able to manage that turbulence by changing our thoughts and changing our lives.

What about toxic people you say? You know those people are never happy, never satisfied, always complaining that there’s something wrong!

That is indeed a challenge, but not impossible to overcome. Just this last week I found myself in a very difficult situation with a coworker. This person was obligated to complete certain deliverables by a specified date and was concerned that he would not be able to meet this deadline due to certain variables beyond his control. One of those variables included my tasks of which were on time and progressing nicely.

I had learned this person was also dealing with a family emergency concerning a loved one. When I learned of this, I thought “How can I brighten this person’s day and lighten their load?”. I promptly sent an e-mail cancelling a meeting and expressed my heart-felt concern for his circumstances, with prayers for a fast and speedy recovery of their loved one.

This person promptly reached back out to me via IM with “can you call me?”. Anticipating a humbled person after the e-mail I had just sent, I proceeded to call. Oh, this may be a good time to let you know that this person has a history of being “high strung” and very difficult to work with. In light of the circumstance though, I felt I would honor this person with a brief phone call to make sure everything was “OK“. Rather than hearing “thanks for the nice e-mail”, I heard one negative comment after another and taking the victim stance that nobody seems to care about his personal situation.

I explained numerous times to the disgruntled individual that I understood his stressful situation having experienced trauma in my own life. He was not reachable at this level. He took that stance that nobody has ever undergone what he is living through and his coworkers did not care, in spite of the contrary. After his numerous failed attempts to rattle my cage, he hung up on me.

So how do you handle a person like that? No matter how nice and understanding you try to be, they still point the finger at you as the problem while they gloat in their victimness?

For starters, do not argue with them. These people are so closed off from others that they have a narrow vision of the world. They cannot see anything from another’s point of view. They simply choose not to. Why? Because it keeps them in “victim mode”. They are so used to viewing their world from a “what’s wrong with this picture” perception that to suggest they consider a different point of view would diffuse them. It would take them down from their virtual pulpit and give them nothing to bitch about.

Next, no matter what they might say to attempt to push your buttons, counter it with something positive. This will drive them crazy, but it will leave you sane. When you don’t allow yourself to be drawn down to their level of madness and mayhem you will maintain your higher levels of positive energy, allowing you to remain calm and focused on your day.

Next, and your ego will fight you on this, give up the need to be right. Toxic people will argue for the sake of argument. There was absolutely nothing negative in the e-mail I sent to this person, but all he could see was what he wanted to see. You will never win. It’s the “turn the other cheek” approach for self-preservation.

Lastly, send this person a silent prayer. See them as the creation of God that they are. Remind yourself that they are not the lower energy spewing from their mouth, but rather that of a higher source. If we remove ourselves physically from these toxic personalities, i.e. phone calls, IMs or even face to face and choose not to engage, then we are better able to maintain our own higher energy. When we do, we impact the world in a positive way, raising the world’s vibrational energies for good and ultimately helping those toxic people by radiating love rather than anger and hate.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Toxic People and How to Handle Them

  1. Justice says:

    This artilce keeps it real, no doubt.

  2. Such a timely article and very, very true. The article should have address the psychological toll the spouses and the children of the clergy experience as a result of this happening to the pastors of these toxic situations. You truly need therapy and ongoing counseling after experiencing something like this.

  3. Wonderful blog you have here but I was curious about if you knew of any message boards that cover the same topics discussed here?
    I’d really like to be a part of online community where I can get suggestions from other knowledgeable individuals that share the same interest. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. Bless you!

  4. Giuseppe says:

    Thanks for finally writing about >Toxic People and How to Handle Them <Loved it!

  5. We change our masks with every new person or situation that arises because we are programmed since early childhood to believe we need the approval of others to survive. Now and then we become fleetingly aware of our masks when, for example, we find ourselves in an entirely new situation or with new people we can’t categorize and frantically search our cast of characters, trying to find the most appropriate mask to adopt for the present circumstances.

  6. Gil French says:

    Lastly, send this person a silent prayer. See them as the creation of God that they are. Remind yourself that they are not the lower energy spewing from their mouth, but rather that of a higher source. If we remove ourselves physically from these toxic personalities, i.e. phone calls, IMs or even face to face and choose not to engage, then we are better able to maintain our own higher energy. When we do, we impact the world in a positive way, raising the world’s vibrational energies for good and ultimately helping those toxic people by radiating love rather than anger and hate.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *